I had enough...

"But you fog things up! You always have. You spin me about." Is a line from a movie, and I am sure some of you not only recognize the movie, but also the scene. I write today's blog after a conversation I had with someone, and this line is the one thing I could think of.

Truth is I really like this girl, and I don't think she really cares for me. So as I sit here listening to the music of Glee (though show rocks, thought I should plug it to the one person reading this), I can't help but think of the relationship I have with this girl. Now without giving you all the details, This girl has me all confused. Confused about her, confused about me, and confused about these funny feeling I have for her. As the quote says, she has fogged up my life, flipped it up side down, spun me about and now I don't know what way is down.

All the while giving me no reason to think she feels the same. Our last conversation she sounded frustrated with me. I had no idea with what as it has been a while since we last talked. So if it was not with me, with what. All I wanted was to talk to her and ask her what angered her. But I resisted. I know that I must move on, that I have had enough. I really haven't though, I think that is evident by this blog about a girl, that could have the world with her smile.

So what does one do? Well one just tries to keep other things in their life, it can't hurt you if you don't think about it right?

Memory lane... maybe more of a boulevard.

So in the last two days, I have had to go visit my old high school twice. Once to order my transcript, and once to pick it up. It is a very surreal experience. It really should not be, but when you walk the halls and run into old teachers/coaches that still remember you, and in one case still tell their students about you (as you won a championship under them) it is hard for it not to feel this way.

You walk into the office, and see how much has changed, yet how little everything has. It brings back a flood of memories that are all over the map. This is where I use to hang out at lunch, this is where I use to go out of my way every F block to hopefully walk past that girl. Over here is where my favorite class use to be before the school was renovated. That is where I got in trouble for... well we don't need to go there.

It was a little bit funny with the timing as I had dinner last night at my oldest friends restaurant, with two friends I do not see often enough. We talked, and caught up, and remember some of the good times. I guess there is no real point to this blog besides the ramblings of someone remembering some good times. But here is the the past and the fond memories, and to the future and even better ones.

That last line

So I have all but finished my script for my latest film. I think it is actually pretty good, and I am pleased with how it as turned out, especially in the time I wrote and developed the idea. It is not a long script, but so much more thought had to go into this than a normal script this length.

This is the kind of film I would love to make for the rest of my life. A little slice of life. Yes these movies are generally about big moments, but they are moments that define a persons life. We all have these kinds of moments and they are what creates are real character.

So now all I need is a last line to finish the movie off. Here is not the most important line, but the one that will define the road this character goes in. Does she fall back into the grove she has been in? Or does she grow and go on to turn a new page? Does it become a happy ending a Sad ending or just an ending?

It is very cool to have one line that will do so much for a movie. It is also a little scary to write it. It is moments like these that define a lifetime.

What inspirers me?

So what inspires me? I thought I would pose this question after a bit of time spent working on my screenplay and not being able to finish this conversation two of the characters are having. It is funny, it is based on a conversation I have had, so you would think it would be easy to write. It turns out to be the exact opposite.

So what have I done to cure this? Well I started by making a play list, on my itunes of music that will hopefully give me inspiration for the scene I am having trouble with. How did that work? Well I am now writing this blog, so you tell me. Not sure what the next step is.

I want to talk to someone about it, and hopefully re-awaken the conversation we had, but I think that will backfire. Doing that will make everything forced, and that is the last thing I want from this conversation. This is a pivotal point in the movie for two of the characters, they should both be natural and saying things of the cusp, saying what comes to mind first before they think about it.

That is my problem, as someone pointed out, I think to much about everything, I put to much thought into every detail instead of just acting and going for it. So maybe I should just stop thinking, shut off my brain and write. Wait is that not what I have just done for the last four paragraphs?

I am a twit

So after a lively debate last night about the merits of twitter, I took the advice of the other side and joined to prove my point. It is a stripped down version of Facebook, or myspace, or any number of other networking websites. Their arguments were yes but what some people write, sorry tweet is way more important than what goes up on Facebook, which for the record I can control what I see. Well so far I have seen nothing of the sort. Yes people are shopping and telling me all about the boring crap they do, a lot like a status update.

The other argument is you can be friends with famous people. Well I am not friends with any famous people, on both my Twitter account and my Facebook account I am friends with a Chelsie Hightower, from SYTYCD. If she wanted to, she could write the same things she puts on her twitter on her Facebook. so I am going to give that a strike two. Their other arguments I have yet to really see. as most of the famous people I took a look at on Twitter are just like their Facebook account, and either not them, run by someone else or don't exist.

If you find me on twitter (both of the two people that are reading this) you can follow my great tweets. Which will be a lot like a blog, except shorter and with less meaning. Is that strike three? Well I will give time, and maybe I will grow to like being a Twit.

When life gets you down

So I wrote this entry a little while ago, but I have yet to enter it because of lack of time I suppose, everything is a bit hectic now, and I am feeling the financial struggle. So here it goes.

The biggest test of character is the choices we make. I know it sounds simple enough, and it often is, but these little choices make us who we are. The chances we take versus the things we let slip through are fingertips.

Today I choose the life of a struggling artist. Some will tell you "This is the way to figure out who you are and what you are made of." to see what one can endure. but can't the same be said about going the other way? Can't we have everything we want and still struggle? Is life itself not one big struggle?

So why did I choose to go the path with less money? It came down to a few things. Ethics, and what I was willing to do to become well off, money, and happiness. Money is not everything, it can't buy you what you really want, ethics is what you can live with, and I can not live with lying. Happiness, it is what I am now.